I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
