Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
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