I wish I could teleport
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
home. puking in laundry basket.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
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