My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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