he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
