They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
BRING THE BAGELS
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
