We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
