The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
