he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
