She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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