It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
