I wish I could teleport
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
She announced her abortion via fbk
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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