Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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