just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize