hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Hippo gnu deer
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
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