North Korea, Best Korea!
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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