there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
