If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
