Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
