Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
