Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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