the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
