i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
