So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
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Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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