Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
