Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
