At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
