She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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