Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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