its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
