it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
