so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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