Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
