At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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