We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
