This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
