I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
