I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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