Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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