I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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