Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
