Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
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Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media