True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree