I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
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It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Semen is not good for contacts.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
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Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.