Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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