its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
