Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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