i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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