Sponge bath it is.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
