I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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