You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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