i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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