is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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