we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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