I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
