Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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