Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
