ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
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I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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