The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
This show inspires me to have sex in space
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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