So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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