Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize