I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
