Screwed.edu
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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