wanna go halves on a baby?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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