Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
