just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
